Good evening, love!
I just wanted to take a second to express how incredibly thankful I am for your presence here! Knowing that you enjoy my content and feel inspired by it makes me feel so sexy and confident! The positive energy that radiates from you is SO appreciated and gives me an extra boost of motivation to keep creating.
Thank you so much!
Love,
Me
After becoming single again, I began what has become a five and a half year journey as a pansexual solo poly relationship anarchist... or as I prefer to simply call it; a *libertine*. My sexuality and my creative spirit seem to stem from the same source - when one is up, so is the other. I thrive on freedom, adventure and exploration.
I will try to explain what I mean by relationship anarchy. We have lots of different kinds of relationships in our lives, and when we m33t someone, we don't yet know what they will become to us over the course of our time with them. Each combination of relating humans is its own complex universe and should not be f0rced into a category, or a hierarchy, or be required to follow rules that weren't created and agreed upon by the people in that relationship. So many people in romantic relationships allow whoever they are currently sleeping with regardless of how much time has been invested a higher priority and control over their access to long term platonic friends, current and former lovers, and sometimes even family members. I resent a system that implies someone else has the right to interfere with my other relationships that they are not a part of, or think they have control over who has access to my body. I also dislike the tendency monagamists have to throw away the people they have loved and invested in because their current partner is threatened. It also seems to lead to more dishonesty when natural urges, feelings or just changing perspectives might hurt the relationship if they are acknowledged.
My goal instead here lately is to hopefully cultivate lifelong friendships, some of them with benefits! I would love to find another primary, lifelong partner, but I also think it's difficult and possibly unreasonable to expect one person to m33t so many of my wants and needs. Of course my romantic side still daydreams about finding one incredible person that fits me perfectly and a happy fairy tale ending, but until that magical person appears, I will be out there adventuring, m33ting people and creating community. I have a feeling the ārightā person will *get* me, and won't expect me to sacrifice the people I care about to coddle their ego and after so many years of self-sufficiency, I will be strong enough to love and support them without limiting who they love by being too needy or co-dependent. I call it a journey because I feel like I'm questing, dreaming the impossible dream. When I posted yesterday that I'm crushing it at this lifestyle, it was important for me to reflect that because so often my wins don't look the same as everyone else's. You most likely wonāt see photos of my lovers on Instagram. Like being an artist, I've sacrificed a lot of comfort and status to be myself and live life the way thatās natural.
These notions may seem harsh, unreal or even chaotic. These ideas have gotten me into a lot of trouble in my life. I've simultaneously inspired people, brought them along for some wonderful rides, joyfully welcomed their little devil inside only to become an easy scapegoat when things didn't go as they hoped or expected. Not only the traditionalists but even the self-proclaimed open-minded allies to the queer community have shown discrimination towards non-monogamy, polyamory, swinging, or anything outside of the societal monogamy template many follow, or often only pretend to follow.
I donāt think of showing up to the party solo as lacking - quite the opposite! There are actually some truly wonderful benefits to being solo, and I will expand on that soon!
Ps. Honor your own little devil inside and check your DMs! šš
My body is is healing and so is my seductive spirit. Hereās a HOT, trampy photo set for a great value to help you save your pennies while the š is on š„!
You can see my pink scars a little but at least I can wear makeup on my skin now. Just playing dress up around the house and feeling myself today!
Youāre gonna love this HOT WAX SET with @michellemasque! It's literally SIZZLING! You might be able to tell based on some of our expressions that even with low temperature wax, it was still DAMN HOT. But also SO HAWT, right?! The moment we stepped into the space, this slinky DOMINATRIX @michellemasque took control! I was like putty in her confident hands.
There are A LOT of pics in this set! We are each sharing some unique photos and boomerangs so be sure to go VISIT @MICHELLEMASQUE'S PAGE and GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES for her!
I followed her into the inner sanctum. My eyes adjusted to the dark and by the ambient blue glow I could make out the moss green cushions of a chaise longue. She guided me toward it and then pulled back the black velvet curtains to reveal floating shelves crowded with silver candlesticks, each holding a wax candle. Her hand found mine and I felt her slip something cold and metallic into it. I looked down to discover a vintage Zippo with the image of a skull, its features worn smooth with use.
āLight them,ā she ordered.
And of course, I did what she told me to do.
A sizzling hot wax set with @michellemasque will be coming out this weekend!
Merry XXX-mas!
This has been a weird year but the support on Onlyfans has been incredibly encouraging and made all the difference in the world for me! Thank you so much for being a subscriber and following my adventures here. Youāve made me feel so warm and cozy Iāve had to shed a few layers. š„
The other night when I was passing through Branson, Missouri, a very charming new friend told me that I had a lot of sex appeal - he described it as if it was more about presence, not just looks. Almost like a skill or personality trait. After the recent undesired changes to my body, it was a relief to hear that. Our bodies and faces are never static - they are always changing. If we are lucky, we outlive our youthful good looks, but we still gotta make it work!
One of my elders told me that someday sex will be less important for me and that as my desire for it fades, life will get much smoother. To them I said, fuck that! I intend to be sexually active until the day I die. Bring on the drama!
This isnāt a sexy post, itās a terribly honest one. That was your trigger warning for uncomfortable medical stuff!
In early September, I went into a plastic surgeon for a breast lift and implants - some personal sculpting. I had high hopes for a glorious outcome and started prematurely posting about it here. Less than two weeks after the surgery, I started experiencing complications. Necrosis developed on the left side, and on both sides, the seams opened up. There was a week or two I was terrified I might lose my favorite nipple and it will be a while before I know if it still works - at the moment itās a bit folded up and numb.
For someone who has been fortunate to never have any medical issues, this rare scenario never seemed possible until it was happening to me. As much as I hated to undo the work I went through hell to get done, for safety, I had the implants removed and Iāve been healing ever since. Iām much smaller on top than when I went in and it will take some reconstructive efforts before I feel comfortable fully topless again.
It has been a MAJOR bummer and pretty traumatic to go through. Iām not quite done feeling sorry for myself, but the more I heal the more my energy is returning. Iāve been starting to feel more playful again at least and missing Onlyfans and our conversations. Although itās frustrating not to be able to use my upper body, maybe it will encourage me to be more creative here!
My Dressing Room is finally put together! This is my special room for getting dressed up to go out, storing all costumes, wigs and lingerie - all of the impractical accessories Iāve collected over the years. Itās also the room where Iām taking photos, videos, soon recording podcasts and doing collabs with other creators. Itās so important to make space to create, donāt you think?
photo by Danny Vasquez aka @eggshoneyandham on instagram
Those new thigh high oil slick stripper boots have reawakened my confidence and passion. Iām lounging around the house wearing nothing else! This set is all about boots and booty. Youāre gonna love! šš¢š¢
photos by Danny Vasquez aka @eggshoneyandham on instagram
I have some very hot moments from the OF Creators Guild poolside mixer to share but while I am getting permissions from the other creators, let me wet your whistle with a little taste of the ever delightful @eladarling! Here are quite a few photos of the two of us touching, cuddling, and kissing. See if you can spot the tease-y bikini nip slips!
Tomorrow Iāll be posting a great little set from the second official @ofcreatorsguild mixer which happened to be my last pool party of the year! Iāll also be adding some group photos to that account soon so you can check out all of the cool, gorgeous, and stylish OF creators Iāve been meeting!
Last night I went on a date and decided to take the last post poll results as advice and inspiration. Surprisingly, I have never carved fun shapes into my pubic hair but I think it might be a great new medium for me. My first self-canvas creation is a lovely little furry heart - open to see the outcome! ā„ļø
(Inner circle āļø should check their DMs for the making-of video!)
I sent a shower video to my inner circle āļø recently about how I want to make a pubic hair shaving video and maybe even get creative with it. Iāve been preparing my canvas and allowing the RETURN OF THE BUSH. Itās getting there, but for a real impact I might want to give it a couple more weeks of growing time. Already this is way more hair than Iāve allowed in a good, long while.
Snapped this pic of my progress in the shower this morning. Whatās your preference?
Happy October aka Halloween month! I wanted to let yāall know what has been happening and what you can expect in the near future from my page. This recovery process has hit some speed bumps but there will be more fun offerings coming very soon!
It was wonderful live streaming the unboxing of a bunch of Amazon wishlist gifts with you tonight. Thanks again to everyone who sent me something! It made me feel really good.
I also talked about the āconscious play partyā I attended recently and the new kink I discovered I have when I was there. Lots of honest talk in this one. If youāre curious, be sure to watch!
Technical problems broke this livestream into two videos. The first video is all about love languages. The majority of the live stream is covered in the second video. There is no nudity in either video.
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Wow! Iām feeling very cared for right now thanks to some of you who sent presents from my Amazon wishlist. Tonight Iām going to do an unboxing livestream at 9pm CST!
It occurs to me that I never told the story about the recent āconscious play partyā I went to with āDā the the dishwasher repairman, so thatās also on the agenda. Donāt miss it!
Iām just lying here with a cool rag over my chest, already feeling a lot better and getting pretty damn excited yāall!
How curious are you?? *The person who tips the most on this post will get first PPV access to the big reveal photo set!*