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330s
I closed out January feeling so good about myself, and so happy to finally be making my way in life. things were far from perfect but i was finding so much joy in it all that it didn’t matter one bit. i was trying local food spots as often as i could but money was tight so i remember cooking a lot of pasta. so much pasta.
i was living in a third floor walk-up, so hauling myself and my groceries up so many stairs was starting to suck and i knew it was only going to get worse as i continued gaining. and yet i continued to stuff myself despite being a bit stymied by the staircase. it felt so good to see those numbers going back up, and so quickly despite the circumstances
my relationship with my body continued healing. i can definitively say there’s such a distinct before and after in not only my mindset, but in how i hold myself - i don’t know if it’s apparent to the casual observer here, but i see it.
this was around the time i started getting really comfortable with being alone. i had a nice routine, and my work was keeping me busy and focused on my goals. i had so much hope for the future, and i was convinced that i was on my way to making my dreams come true. it was such a lovely feeling, effervescent even. i felt like i was finally becoming myself.